That is NOT right!
by Daft Mut
Summary: This is what would happen if the unthinkable happend... Hi I now have chapter 2 (evil laugh)so tell me what you think of it !!!!!
1. It Can’t Be Possible! Can It?

1  
  
Briar was a plant mage, young and handsome, the world was his oyster.  
  
In till one day the most unthinkable thing that could ever be thought up by a crazy loon with ginger hair and the name of Craig (manic laughter) happened. It was a day the day that shook every living thing and even the big lump o' rock they stood on. Yes it was the day that briar found a plant he did not like! (Dun dun dun!)  
  
It al happened like this. One day Briar was looking at a rock! It's a shocker and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with my story. Anyway Briar Moss was sitting at the dinner table with his pets that he dared to call foster sisters happily tucking into a soup made from many different - er - stuffs. Anyway, he was eating his soup when he looked down and saw a plant he had never seen before (apart from now). So he said to it  
  
"Hello little plant, what's your name? What was that? Cabbage Spit was it? Well that's a nice name. Mine's Briar. So C P do you come here often? I haven't seen you around"  
  
Sandry looked disturbed "Er, Briar's talking to his soup again"  
  
"Well I think we should let it pass, don't worry, he scares us all" Lark comforted.  
  
"Yes" Briar continued "I do think that you have a pretty name what do you think of mine it is very manly and strong, isn't it Cabbage Spit?  
  
"I will never get used to sharing a house with a boy who chats up vegetables. Have you got any idea how many years of therapy I will need after this?" Lamented Tris  
  
"I don't think it's that strange" said Niko  
  
All the women raised an eyebrow "Oh?"  
  
"Yes, why when I was Briars age I used to talk to sauce pans, ah yes me and Saucy had a fling back in the old days. Yes I remember her!"  
  
The rest of the group shivered at THAT particular image. Mean while Briar was doing his best to cultivate a friendship with the Cabbage Spit, he felt they had 'a future' together. The feeling was NOT mutual.  
  
"Excuse me?" he was saying "Well I don't know what to say, I come here and try to be nice and you thank me by telling me that I Briar Moss am a pompous, ostentatious, arrogant, pretentious and snobbish? What? Oh so I'm portentous too now, well thanks a bunch!" And with that he slapped the Cabbage Spit round the face and stomped off to his room.  
  
"Well that's not right" said Niko as he returned to eating his meal. 


	2. Written In The Stars

2  
  
Briar lay on his bed looking up at the ceiling, why did he and that Cabbage Spit have problems? It just wasn't right! He ALWAYS got on well with plants, mainly because he's a plant mage but him and plants well were meant to be together, it was written in the stars (as well as his pink fluffy diary that he kept under his bed).  
  
There was a knock at his door and in walked is foster sisters,  
  
"Briar dear-"  
  
Oh crap  
  
"We have an idea"  
  
Double crap  
  
"We have the address of this really nice girl and we thought that if you like we can get her to go out with you"!  
  
Oh ^&!"$##*  
  
"You mean" he corrected "That you want me to go out with some girl 'cos I freak you out and I have no choice in the matter"!  
  
"Well that's one way of putting it" shrugged Daja  
  
"Okay, when do I meet her?"  
  
~*~  
  
"So, like what do you do, like in your spare time"  
  
"Stuff"  
  
"Yeah, like, I like doing that too isn't that, like funny? So what do you want to like, do?"  
  
"Stuff"  
  
"Like, cool, I just LOVE like, doing stuff!"  
  
"Yeah stuff's cool"  
  
"Well its like, late so I'm going to like, go home"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
~*~ As soon as Briar got through the door he ran up to his room trying to avoid talking to his sisters about his so call date. He got up and began to cry, he couldn't stop thinking about his vegi-gal all night. He would have to try and patch things up with her.  
  
He walked right over to his window to try and sort things out,  
  
"Hey honey-"  
  
"Get stuffed"  
  
"But darlin' I love you baby!"  
  
The Cabbage Spit snorted, she obviously did not think this was true.  
  
"Come on, I am not telling you porky pies!"  
  
"'Corse not"  
  
"Look" he said "Cant we give it a try?"  
  
"Bog off" and with that she turned her back on him, and with that she jumped out the window. 


	3. True Love

Briar looked mournfully out of the window, she was gone, the girl of rather the vegetable fortified with vitamin S (he, he, he aren't I evil) had disappeared from his life. He felt small, lonely and like a big ugly dog that resembles my French teacher had taken a big bit of him and chewed it up like, - er - chewing gum! He went and got his pink fluffy diary from under his bed most people would say 'that's not right, for a boy to have a diary' to which he would reply 'Look Chum, there are boys, girls and there is me, Briar Moss! The only one in the world who loves plants and plants love ME!' If he did this little speech he generally got some really weird looks from others. But was it true, was it weird he asked himself  
  
'YES'  
  
No, no don't be silly he needed somewhere to write his deepest thoughts and he was in touch with his feminine side.  
  
But did plants love him?  
  
'No'  
  
Yes, of course they did, but he hadn't had much luck in the past, a few carrots a potato and one aubergine but apart from that he had been very lonely. This Cabbage spit had been the only one who had ever, really meant something to him.  
  
Briar Moss was a deep boy and once he had ended his musings he wrote them all down in his diary and slid it back under his bed.  
  
Briar Moss may have been a deep boy but he was certainly not a very bright one, a few sandwiches short of a picnic you might say. Anyway, it had not occurred to our young hero that a plant may not have legs (Dun, Dun, Dun) and that even if it HAD succeeded in falling off the windowsill chances are that when it reached the ground it would lie hapless upon the floor. All this passed through Briars mind in about 4.42464 minuets and he raced down stairs to his beloved was attempting to role from a gift from a local dog.  
  
"Honey Bunch" he cried  
  
"Look its over; now get me out of here! And then I want washed, by hand mind AND a decent meal for once. NOW"  
  
"It's so good to have you back". His love looked him over thinking, I've had better but he'll do.  
  
"Kiss me dear" She said. And so this loving couple embraced, dog poo or no dog poo. Briar Moss was in love.  
  
Ewwwwwwwww!  
  
~*~ Hi, Daft Mut here.  
  
I am afraid that I can't update for a few weeks 'cos I'm going on holiday, two weeks without TV or the computer! The most modern thing there is an old radio! Ahhh, two weeks of listening to Radio Scotland and the latest midgie count. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  
  
Please Read & Review! 


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